Christian Mythology

I want to get it straight here that I am a Christian, okay? I follow the teachings of Jesus Christ to the best of my ability. I wanted to get that out of the way right off the bat, because my Christianity is constantly thrown into question by people with whom I disagree.

The reason that I started with that statement is because I’m about to address something here that makes many Christians uncomfortable… Judeo-Christian Mythology. When we start to insist on Biblical literalism, we start running into problems, because some of this stuff is obviously mythology. Noah and the Ark. Stopping the sun in the sky. Jonah living in a “big fish” for three days. Adam and Eve. Creation, as presented in Genesis.

You see, every time that you read a verse from the Bible, you have to realize that it will fall into one or more of the following three categories:

1) History. Stuff that really happened. Verifiable by other sources. Historically, for instance, we know that Jesus and his followers existed, because other cultures and sources record them. We also know that the Jewish bondage in Egypt and the Exodus probably DIDN’T happen historically, at least not as laid down in the Bible. There is no record of this anywhere outside the Torah.

2) Mythology. And no, by mythology, I don’t mean “lies”. Mythology is cultural stories created to explain the unexplainable. Where does lightning come from? Zeus throws it at bad people. What is thunder? That’s Thor smiting the clouds with his hammer, Mjolinar. Where did people come from? God made us out of dirt and blew life into our lungs. See how that works? When we can’t explain something, we blame God. (Or “Gods” if you’re a pantheist.)

3) Teachings. My favorite part, and the part that tends to get lost when people get two hung up on the first two. I mean, why debate what Jesus said about caring for the poor and sick when we can, instead, argue about whether or not his mommy was a virgin?

Let me give you an example of what I mean. We all know the story of Christ, right? Born in a manger of a virgin attended by shepherds, given gifts at birth, part man part God, bucked the establishment, persecuted, executed, raised from the dead, yeah? Okay.

How about this? Five hundred years before Christ came Attis. He was born on December 25th to a virgin. He was considered both God and man. He was crucified on a Friday, and, after three days, rose from the dead. His resurrection is celebrated on March 25th – a date shared by Easter some years.

Six hundred years before the birth of Christ came Mithra. Mithra was born on December 25th in a cave (some Christian stories have Jesus born in a cave), had twelve followers, was considered a great teacher, rose three days after his sacrifice and his resurrection was witnessed by two women (as Christians hold that Jesus’ was).

Also about six hundred years before Christ, we had Zoroaster, who was born of a virgin. He was baptized in a river. Wise men were astounded by his childish wisdom. He was tempted in the wilderness by a devil. He began his ministry around the age of 30. He cast out demons and healed the blind. His followers expect a second coming in the year 2361.

Dionysus, the Greek God of wine from about a thousand years before the birth of Christ was born on December 25th of a virgin, considered a holy child and placed in a manger. He was sacrificed and rose from the dead on March 25th. He turned water into wine. He was called “king of kings”. His representative animal was a lamb.

The Egyptian god Horus, who predates the Exodus, was born in a manger on December 25th of a the virgin Isis who was also known as Merian. His birth was attended by a star in the East and three wise men. His human father’s name was Seb, which translates as “Joseph”. He was a child teacher in the temple at twelve, then disappears from history for eighteen years until his baptism at 30. He was baptized in the river Eridanus, which we now know as “Jordan” by a baptizer named Anup, which translates as “John”. He had twelve disciples. He performed miracles, exorcised demons, and raised a man from the dead named “El-Azarus”. (Say it out loud and see what it sounds like.) He walked on water. He was crucified between two thieves and then, after three days, rose from the dead.

About three thousand years before the birth of Christ, Krishna was born of a virgin on December 25th. His earthly father was a carpenter. His birth was attended by a star in the east, angels and shepherds and was given spices (such as myrrh) on his birth. He was persecuted by a tyrant who ordered the murder of thousands of infants in an attempt to kill him. He raised the dead and healed the sick (including lepers) and blindness. He lived among the poor and was said to “love the poor”. He was crucified on a tree between two thieves at the age of 30. The sun was said to darken at his death. He was called “Jeseus” by his followers, which means “pure essence”. (Jesus’ name was not Jesus, his birth name was Joshua. He was called “Jesus” by his followers, which means “light of God”.)

Do you see what I’m trying to say here, brothers and sisters? I think that it’s high time that we let the mythology go, recognize it as the cultural storytelling that it was, and just concentrate on his teachings.

Peace.

Randal