You've Gone Too Far

This blog entry is addressed to the faction of the republican party that the so-called “moral majority” brought into the party to elect Ronald Reagan in 1980, okay? The rest of you can put your fingers in your ears and go “la la la la la” until I’m done.

That’s right. I’m addressing the redneck, snake-handling, inbred hillbilly faction of the republican party.

The democrats have been mollycoddling you… and I admit that I’ve been mollycoddling you right along with them… and it’s over now, all right?

I’m going to speak plainly to you, and in a politically incorrect fashion, because I’m tired of your bullshit.

I want to say that you people should be ashamed of yourselves. I hope that your mother scolds you thoroughly every time that you open your mouth. I know that if I spoke in the kind of disrespectful, empty-headed, small-spirited way that you guys do, my mom would wash my mouth out with soap. And not just any soap. LAVA! Have you ever tasted Lava soap? It’s the worst! You gargle with dog poop after you’ve had it to get the taste out of your mouth!

So what am I talking about?

I’m talking about the disrespect that you hillbillys are showing to President-elect Obama. Especially after screaming for eight years that to show disrespect to the chief executive is to show disrespect to America itself.

It was bad enough when you morons screamed “terrorist” and “kill him” at a political rally, and hillbilly queen Sarah Palin didn’t call you out for it. It was bad enough that a church reader board had the idiotic question “Osama… Obama… hummm… are they brothers?” on it during the election. What would Jesus do? NOT THAT! It was bad enough that the Karl Rove misinformation machine had that one poor little old lady convinced that Obama was an “Arab”. Nothing wrong with Arabs, that’s just misinformation. The same machine had one poor guy at a McCain rally convinced that his children would not be safe in an America where Barack Obama was president. It was bad enough that you boo’d the president-elect’s name at Senator McCain’s concession speech. Did you idiots see the look on his face when you did that? He is an intelligent, sensitive man and you guys were hurting him by doing that. Of course, that pain may be penance for making the mistake of hiring Karl Rove, a man who assassinated HIS character in 2000 to run his campaign. It was BEYOND bad enough when Mr. Broun compared president-elect Obama to a Nazi.

Now… NOW… you people have crossed a line.

By birth, I am a southerner. And I have done nothing over the years to hide that fact. I love southern cuisine and constantly have sweet tea in my fridge. I retain a slight hint of an accent that comes out most prominently when I am tired or stressed. Right now, if I were reading this aloud, you would hear my southern very clearly.

But now… you people make me ashamed of being a southerner. Ashamed!

A loved one of mine in Kansas told me about a news story on her local news about a Spirit One Christian Center reader board in Wichita, KS that said “America, we have a Muslim President. This is sin against the Lord! Ex 20:3”. Exodus 20:3, for those who don’t know, says “Thou shalt have no other God before me.”

Before I start parsing the completely invalid words on this board, let me start by saying that, from my understanding of the Gospels, our Lord would not approve of this bullshit being posted in His name. Jesus was all about love and tolerance, not this kind of nonsense. And also, just to be clear here, JESUS WAS A JEW! HE WAS A MIDDLE-EASTERNER, BORN AND RAISED IN ISRAEL!

Now, to the words themselves.

Most importantly, and hopefully for the last time, Barack Hussein Obama is NOT a Muslim! He is a Christian! His grandfather was an observant Muslim. His father was a Muslim, albeit a not very observant one (he married a white Christian woman, after all). Obama is not. My father and grandfather were Catholics. I am not a Catholic. See how that works?

Next, you narrow-minded morons need to understand that the God of the Jews, the God of the Muslims and the God of the Christians is the SAME GOD! “Allah” means nothing more or less than “God”. That’s it.

The “pastor” of this church insists that the point is not (despite the words on his sign) that Obama is a Muslim, but rather that he’s not a “real” Christian because he supports the legalization of abortion. Look, clowns… simply because president-elect Obama doesn’t share your rather narrow interpretation of Christianity doesn’t mean that he’s not a Christian. You obviously don’t share my all-encompassing, all-loving interpretation of scripture, but I won’t stoop to saying that you’re not Christian. I may say that you’re a bunch of stupid assholes, but I won’t say that you’re not Christian.

Next, you guys have to understand that America is as the founding fathers designed it. It is a nation where ALL religions and those who hold NO religion are all welcomed and equal. You want to live in a Christian theocracy? Great. Research it on Google, find a country that IS a Christian theocracy and MOVE THERE!

Finally, for the sake of argument, let’s say that Obama IS a Muslim. He’s not, but let’s pretend. SO WHAT? The Constitution stipulates that no religious test is to be given for federal office, and the office of President is a federal office. WHO CARES if he’s a Muslim or an atheist or a Jew or a snake-handler or a holy roller. WHO CARES?

The propaganda outlet for you people, Fox News, claimed that Mr. Bush’s three-tenths of one percent victory in 2004 was a great mandate of the American people. So what does that make Obama’s almost six percent victory? It was a landslide. Deal with it.

One final thought. God is all-powerful, right? If God didn’t want Obama to be president, do you think that he would have won?

Grow up.

And re-read the words of Christ and do your best to live by them.

Please.

Peace.

Randal