What's "News"?

Let me ask you two questions…

1) Sad as it is, how does Jett Travolta’s death or the outcome of his autopsy effect you?

2) Sad as it is… and it is very, very sad… how does Kaylee Anthony’s death effect you?

Seriously.

Beyond being sad, what effect do either one of these stories have on your life?

None?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY ON THE NATIONAL “NEWS” 24 HOURS PER DAY?!

As far as young Travolta goes, I know the answer to that – we think that we OWN celebrities. By God, we make them celebrities and pay their salaries… what right do THEY have to mourn their son’s death in private? And then there’s the fact that, being scientology nutjobs, they didn’t get medicine for their kid, just prayed for him. I mean, that’s complete bullshit, they DID provide him with very powerful anti-seizure medicine, but what difference does that make? I’ve heard this information repeated every day since the “news” first presented it as a possibility about a week ago. And the LAST thing that Americans do is let something as paltry as a fact influence what we know.

And little Kaylee Anthony. Poor little dead Kaylee Anthony. Probably killed by her mother. Poor kid.

Who cares?

Honestly.

It’s sad, but who cares? Back in the good old days of three networks, this would have been a blip on the national news prefaced with the words “On a sadder note…” We would have all been allowed a few minutes to mourn for this poor little girl that we never knew, but who should have had a fuller life, then we would have GOTTEN ON WITH OUR OWN FUCKING LIVES!

But instead we obsess over every little detail of each one of these stories as if they ACTUALLY MATTERED! That disgusting, carrion-eating gore crow on CNN… you know the one that I mean… if Earnest Borgnine and Leona Helmsley’s meaner, uglier sister had a baby it would be… oh, yeah Nancy Grace actually ran the mother’s interrogation tapes. Ms. Grace, I thought that you were a legal expert. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CONTAMINATING A FUCKING JURY POOL?! Whether you like this woman or not, whether you think that she’s guilty or not, she deserves a fair trial under our constitution and shit like this stunt prevents that from happening. Same thing happened in the Michael Jackson case. I mean, what are you going to do, ship in the twelve Eskimos from the one square mile of the Arctic that DOESN’T get Direct TV to have an unpolluted jury?

Ignore the vast majority of American news folks. I’ll apply my mantra here that I took from the last broadcasted concert of my hero, George Carlin… it’s all bullshit, and it’s all bad for ya.

Peace.

Randal