Second Thoughts on the Republican Party

“Mr. Bush and Mr. Gingrich and their ilk don’t represent the Republican party any more than the group of nutballs who attacked the World Trade Center on 9/11 represent the Muslim faith.”

Do you have a knife and fork I can borrow? I need to eat those words. The first part of them, anyway. It is still my belief that terrorists do not represent the Muslim faith. The Republican party, on the other hand…

I stated before the last set of primaries that I hoped that Mr. Bush represented the bottom of what I perceived as a very weird barrel as far as Republican presidential nominees went. I was heartened when they nominated the previously very moderate and intelligent John McCain as president, then rapidly disheartened when they nominated the extremely weird, unintelligent Sarah Palin as vice president. As the election progressed and the Republicans accused Barack Obama of being everything from an extreme Muslim to a socialist, my respect for the party sunk like a lead balloon. Then came November, and the Republicans got spanked at the polls. They got gutted like a fish. Then I thought ‘okay, THAT’S gotta sober ‘em up.” Well, of course, I was wrong. When Rash Limburgher made his idiotic, disrespectful, treasonous statement about wanting President Obama to fail, it was bad enough. But he is, after all, an “entertainer”, although I consistently fail to glean any entertainment out of anything that he does. Some Republican representatives (Phil Gingrey, Michael Steele, etc.) even took Limburgher to task for this nonsense, and I was heartened. Then they apologized. Not to the president, but to LIMBURGHER! And then along comes CPAC, where Limbugher gets applause for saying that President Obama is behaving in an unconstitutional way (after supporting Mr. Bush’s wiping his ass with the Constitution) and misquoting the Declaration of Independence as the Preamble to the Consistution.

Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors, I was wrong about the Republican party. This party, which I was raised to revere (although not emulate) has become small-minded, hard-hearted, mean-spirited, sarcastic, anti-intellectual and idiotic. It has become almost laughably ridiculous. It has become the party of the rich, the home-grown terrorist and the snake-handling fanatic. It has become a cowardly, vicious, puling little thing that MUST DIE!

To those of my Republican friends who feel like the party is headed in the wrong direction… and I know that you’re out there… LEAVE THE PARTY. Go to the Libertarians. After all, that party is nothing more than Republicans who smoke pot and admit to liking porn. Start a new state-rights party. Do SOMETHING, just refuse to patronize this pathetic little creature that the party has become. If you stop feeding it, it will DIE. Pack up all of your memorabilia of how the party used to be… how it’s SUPPOSED to be… fiscally conservative, in favor of individual liberties and small government, cautious in both war and peace… take all of these things that we love about the Republicans and LEAVE THE PARTY. They are no longer that way. What Gingrich and Bush and the rest have done to the party is similar to us coming home from work one day and discovering that our wife has had a sex-change operation. I mean, she’s still the same person, but still…

Okay? And I apologize to any of my Republican friends and this post offends. You guys know me. And I am still, for the record, fiercely non-partisan. Before I can start calling myself a Democrat, THAT party has to grow more balls than just Barack Obama’s.

Peace.

Randal