1) GOD HATES FAGS
Let me make this simple for you… “Congress shall make NO LAW either respecting or restricting the free practice of religion.” If I believe that God has put me with my partner, regardless of that person’s sex, then you are restricting my free practice of religion by not letting me marry them.
Not only that, but by making this law, Congress would be RESPECTING your religion over my freedom.
Can’t do it. Unconstitutional. Next.
2) SEX AND MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ABOUT REPRODUCTION, AND GAY COUPLES CAN’T, IN AND OF THEMSELVES, REPRODUCE
Okay, if that’s the case, then why is it still legal for me to marry? I had a vasectomy shortly after (and partly in celebration of) my divorce. Why is it legal for elderly women, way past menopause to marry? And if the above statement is true, then why does God choose to let some people be born STERILE? They can’t ever reproduce, their entire lives. Did God mean to deprive them not only of marriage, but of his gift of sexual pleasure entirely?
Makes no sense unless you bar ANYONE incapable of reproduction from marrying. Next.
3) GAY MARRIAGE THREATENS HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE
You know, I never understood this argument. I STILL don’t understand this argument. The only time that gay marriage would threaten your heterosexual marriage is if one of you are gay. If that’s the case, then your marriage is a sham anyway.
Also, you know what REALLY threatens heterosexual marriage? Being an ARKANSAN. My home state, right in the “heartland”, in what Sarah Palin drunkenly refers to as the REAL America, leads the country in divorce. If the defense of marriage people are really that concerned about heterosexual marriage, maybe they should be trying to outlaw divorce. Or simply disband the state of Arkansas.
Makes no sense unless you or your spouse are gay, which opens an entirely nother discussion. Next.
4) THIS WOULD REQUIRE A REDIFINITION OF MARRIAGE
Yeah.
So?
How many times has marriage been redefined? Let’s start in Biblical days when marriage was a sacred bond between a forty year old man and one or more thirteen year old girls, arranged through her parents in exchange for a “bride price”… in other words, husbands more or less BOUGHT their wives. Many times, the terrified little girl in question never even knew her husband more than socially if at all. There was no courting. We don’t do this anymore. Redefined once.
Then it was against the law to marry anyone outside your family. Several retarded generations later, this was changed. Redefined twice.
Prior to the civil war in America, “marriages” among slaves were common. But these marriages could be torn asunder by the master, who often continued to have sex with the slave girl even after her “marriage”. BIG redefinition of marriage. By so-called “Christians” of all people.
Through (I believe) the 1930’s in America, it was illegal for Christians to marry Jews. This is no longer the case. Redefined four times.
Through the 1950’s in America, it was illegal for black people and white people to marry. This is no longer the case. Redefined five times.
Do you see what I’m getting at here? Marriage, like about everything else, is an evolving and changing concept. It has never been locked into one definition for very long and that will continue to be the case. Next.
5) IT WOULD OPEN THE DOOR FOR MULTIPLE MARRIAGES
Yeah.
So?
Separate argument. We all know that the bigger a community is, the better it generally functions. We all know that kids are better raised with a group of viewpoints than only one or two.
You want to argue against multiple marriage? Do it. It has no bearing on the gay marriage issue. As a matter of fact, I’m thinking of trying to get several women to marry me just so that we can open up this can of worms. Next.
6) THE RICK (THE PRICK) SANTORUM ARGUMENT: DOGS WOULD MARRY CATS AND PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO MARRY THEIR PET SNAKES
Really, Rick?
You’ve got years of tradition and hellfire itself at your disposal, and the best that you can do is bestiality?
Animals can’t enter into contracts, people. Marriage is a contract. Therefore, animals cannot be married, dumb ass.
Okay, now that I have (rather magnificently, I think) shot down all of those balderdash arguments, anyone have any others?
Peace.
Randal
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